journey: The act of traveling from one place to another; a trip.
adolescence: A transitional period of development between youth and maturity.
Life is a journey. As we continue to age, experience and grow, we tend to believe in the constant lessons we learn that we have finally "arrived" only to find another lesson around the corner.
Saturday, January 12, 2013
I start my doctor’s orders: anti-seizure medication, physical
therapy and slowing down. The first few weeks of medicine were rough and
riddled with more headaches than I normally have, tiredness and possible mood
swings? I’m not sure if the mood swings were the medicine or my roller coaster
of emotions about my diagnosis, what it meant and what the future would hold.
Upset because I was not in control of what was happening, anger at the loss of
control and the fact that I would be on medication from now on, fear at how
this would progress and grieving what I felt was a loss of my independence. Physical
therapy was well, physical therapy. Two to three hours of another appointment
in my already full schedule. Juggling my lunch breaks for physical therapy
appointments so as not to miss work or use sick pay, feeling guilty all the
while and mad again at the theft of my time. The therapy did help, to a point, but
the dizziness and imbalance are still there. I have some days that are dizzier
than others where I feel like a top wobbling around at the end of its turning. I
learned to sit down, wait, lie down, rest or recalibrate myself. I constantly “lean”
into walls when I walk, but it’s been a long time since my last fall. I
attribute part of this to my learning to slow down my previously fast paced
self. I walk slower, use hand rails, constantly look at the steps I take and
when walking alongside my husband… I hold his hand. I think that’s probably the
best part of all of this. I learned to hold his hand, to let him help me, to
realize and accept that I am not in this alone. He’s always there, always has
been. I used to be very stubborn with my independence, but I find comfort in
reaching for him and having my hand in his…I think he likes it too.